Trapped in the corner
by xxTwisted Dark Dreamsxx
Summary: Neither Sasuke nor Deidara remembered what happened. Or how they managed to get into a small, tight space, where very odd situations might pop up. CrackficYaoi warning OOC warningRated for language and awkward situations


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or 'My Humps' by Black Eyed Peas -sweatdrops-

* * *

Darkness over came the secluded, small, and uncomfturably tight space. A faint dripping noise could be heard from far off, dripping in what seemed to be some sort of melody. There was a stifled grunt and he pushed his elbow into the other person's waist, trying in vain to make them move over. The other person grunted and swatted his hand at the him. He growled softly and hit the other person one the arm. The other person unexpecdetly threw it's hand at him and back-handed him against the face. He let out a startled yelp of pain. 

Then a thought hit his head.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open.

'Other person?'

His mind slowly formed together. In turn, so did the questions.

Where was here?

Why was it to dark and tight?

What was that dripping noise?

And most importantly...

WHAT THE HECK WAS THE PERSON WHO BACK-HANDED HIM?!

Sasuke craned his head to beside him, his eyes starting to settle. A shape suddenly formed beside him, slowly rising up and down with each single breath. Other than that, it's limbs were eerily still. Sasuke swallowed hard and reluctantly rose his hand to the other person, ready for a sudden attack. His hand gently touched the top of the form. The other person wasn't bald. Whoever it was, he (or she) had ridiculously soft hair. Sasuke grinned giddly and stroked the soft hair, finding out that it was very long and in a ponytail.

'The hair is so soft...it's beautiful...must be a girl, because the only guy who can have soft hair as this is me,' he thought as he kept on stroking. Smirking silently to himself, Sasuke lowered his hands, feeling up more than the person's hair...but in doing so...the person woke up.

"Gah, what's going on here, un?"

Sasuke's eyes shot wide and he jumped back; which was kind of impossible because the space was so cramped, so he slammed his head onto the far wall.

"DEIDARA?!"

He saw the other form turn it's head. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke stared at his hands in disgust. "Oh god, and I was all feeling you up and-"

There was a sudden pause.

"_I liked it_," he whispered huskily into Deidara's ears. The artist yelped and jumped, hitting his head on the ceiling then the oppisite wall that Sasuke hit.

"What the hell man?" Deidara nearly screamed, curling himself up into a ball.

Sasuke smirked and grabbed Deidara's hand without warning and started rubbing the palm on his cheek. "Open your mouth! I want you to _lick me_." He made sure to say the last two words ever so erotically. Deidara twitched violently and ripped his hands out of Sasuke's grasp.

"You are messed up in the head, un," the artist retorted in a rough tone. "You spent too much time with Orochimaru."

Sasuke scoffed and put a hand to his head dramtacially. "I do not like him; he likes me. I'm that fond of snakes anyway." He shifted his eyes.

Deidara sighed heavily. "OK, whatever." He looked around. "Hey, where are we anyways, un? Last thing I remember I was planning to blow up Tobi..."

"Well," Sasuke said thoughtfully, bringing a well manicured finger up to his chin. "Last thing I remember was seeing this creepy guy. I think he knocked me out. OH!" He whipped his head towards Deidara. "I think the same guy knocked you out at well, but from the behind!"

Deidara scooted away from him, afraid that he was going insane from the lack of private space.

Unfortunately for him, Sasuke scooted closer towards him and nudged into him.

"What the hell are you doing, un?!" the artist shrieked, trying to push him away. Sasuke stubbornly stayed in his place.

"It's cold."

"So what?"

"I wanna be warm. And you're warm...really warm..." Sasuke smiled contently and wrapped an arm around Deidara's waist - just for it to be nearly ripped off it's hinges by the blonde.

"Touch me and die, un."

"Fine, be that way."

There was silence for a bit.

So silent that Deidara jumped when Sasuke spoke.

"How are we gonna get out of here anyways?"

"How the hell should I know, un?" Deidara mumbled, his voice layered in tiredness. He closed his eyes and started to drift off...

Until something REALLY loud started to ring through the air.

_'Whatcha going to do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk? I'm gonna get you, get you drunk' _

"Oh, that's my cellphone," Sasuke said, reaching towards his waist and flipping open a really thin phone to his ear. "Ello?"

"_I want your body, Ssssssssssassssssssuke-kun..." _came a slithery voice from the other side of the phone. Deidara shivered at the lust in the voice.

"I already told you Orochimaru, it's over between us!" Sasuke yelled into the phone before shutting it will a metiallic clunk.

Deidara stared on at him.

"So you are gay, un?"

Even with the very little light, it wasn't hard to notice Sasuke's blush.

"NO!"

"So why'd you feel _me_ up, un?" Deidara asked, twitching at every syllable. Sasuke 'errred' and 'ummmd' for a while.

"I don't know! It was a spur of the moment thing!" He cried defensivly, nearly making Deidara deaf. Deidara gingerly covered his poor ears.

"OK OK, un. Just stop screaming in my ear."

_'My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps...'_

Sasuke sniffed then casually took the cellphone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"_Hi Sasuke-kun!" _

At the sound of the voice, Sasuke groaned rather loudly.

"Whadyaa want Sakura?"

_"I sent more pictures of myself for you Sasuke-kun! I think you'd rather like to see them..."_

"For the last time Sakura, stop sending me sexually appealing pictures of yourself! I do NOT love you!"

_"But-"_

Sasuke crashed the cellphone shut and stuffed it back into his pocket.

Deidara stared on. "She sends you pictures of herself, un?"

The emo sighed. "Yeah. Usually stuff of her striking sexy poses and ridiculously skimpy clothes. I send them to Naruto. He seems to appreicate them better than I do."

The artist sighed and started slamming his head into the wall

Sasuke winced with every thump. "What are you doing?"

----

_'Is is night?..._

_I'm feeling rather tired..._

_How long has it been?_

_Something's touching me...'_

Deidara slowly cracked his eyes open, the sudden darkness rushing at his single shown eye. He felt something pressed up against his shoulder, snuggling into it. The person was also mumbling non-intelligent words, shifting his head every now and then to go along with the dream he was supposedly having.

"Oh no Mrs.Bunny...you're married...and you're...cheeeeeeeze..."

The artist twitched uncomfturably and tried to push the dreaming Sasuke off his shoulder. Sasuke merely swatted his hand, nearly slapping Deidara a couple of times. At one point...his hand eventually landed onto the artist's cock. Deidara blushed furiously, growled, and managed to kick Sasuke in the stomach. With a startled jump, he woke up, banging his head into the ceiling and then falling onto Deidara.

"Stop talking in your sleep, un! It creeps me out," Deidara mumbled, pushing him back off.

Sasuke glared back at him. "What? You're so anti-emo! I was dreaming of going to a Linkin Park (a/n: No offense to Linkin Park fans- I'm a huge fan too) concert and then after that all the emos were comparing their scars!" He sniffed and then turned his head snobbily.

Deidara sweat-dropped and lowered his head. _'This is going to be a long night...or day.'_

----

By this time, over hours and hours, Deidara felt as if he was going to rip out his hair at any moment. Or Sasuke's. Sasuke's would make him happier.

Sasuke was currently asleep- again. Luckily he wasn't murmurring disturbing thoughts.

Unluckily, he was singing the Barney theme song.

"I love...you love...faaaaaaaamily..."

"WAKE UP!" Deidara roared, slapping Sasuke up-side his head. Sasuke groaned and cracked open his eyes.

"Go away. I'm sleeping."

"I can't you moron, un!" Deidara screamed, finally loosing his temper. Sasuke looked up at him.

"How long have we been here?"

Regaining his cool, Deidara looked around. "How should I know?"

"You know, "Sasuke murmurred, looking down into his lap. "I'm sorry."

Deidara blinked curiously at the younger guy. "What? Did you say sorry, un?"

"Yeah. Sorry for being so wierd right now. I mean, I don't even know what the hell happened! One moment, I'm trying to drag Karin off of me, and the next, I'm stuck in this tiny cramped space!" Sasuke cried in exasperation, drooping his eyelids until his eyes were barely visible. "You know, my life isn't that easy. Getting my family killed, then having to have this emo look, having all girls like me, and now trying to kill me brother. I have a really tough life." He sighed and took his chin into his hands.

Deidara looked on at him, feeling -what he furiously wouldn't accept- pity for him. He sighed and placed a hand onto Sasuke's head.

"I guess i'm sorry too, un. You're not so bad once I got used to you," Deidara mumbled, not trying to make it sound like he was really pitying him.

Sasuke looked up at him and smiled.

There was a moment of peaceful silence.

"So can we have sex?"

"No way in hell, un."

* * *

Explanation time? I think so. 

OK, this was inspired by a role-play my friend -Catherine- and me played out. Except we took in on futhur, because at first we were in my room, but then the next day we went around my school and continued the game. I only decided to do this part. I took out some parts...like when Deidara had a very odd dream -sweatdrops- sorry about leaving it out, but I just wanted to end this. It's just a side-story that really has no meaning. Pure crack-fic. Total OOCness. Oh, just so you know, the wierd guy who put them in there was doing an odd experiment. He...lol, actually thought that Deidara was Naruto using his sexy jutsu XD

OH! And I'm in grade 7 now! It sucks ass! XD


End file.
